Boy, I've written a lot of things.
Spending seven whole years researching and writing for Cracked.com creates a very large body of work. I'm talking hundreds, if not over a thousand pieces of written content for the site. If I had to ballpark it, I'd say I've written roughly 1.3 million words that have equalled to 200 million page views. That's the population of Tokyo six times over, you guys.
The process for writing a Cracked article is as follows:
- Coming up with a workable premise that fits with the site.
- Researching enough information to fill at least six talking points supporting the premise.
- Organizing the research and observations into a tidy pitch and presenting it to the rest of editorial.
- Writing a 2,000 to 3,000 comedic article based on this pitch and within a 2-week due date.
No, I will not link every individual article I've written for the site (because you can see that here) -- but here's a brief sample highlighting my range...
MOVIE OBSERVATION AND CRITIQUE
- Why Jurassic World Sucked
- 6 Reasons Modern Movie CGI Looks Surprisingly Crappy
- 5 Ways Disney Can't Stop Screwing Up Star Wars
- 5 Ways To Make Pop Culture Nostalgia Not Totally Suck
- 6 Hilarious Secret Rules All Horror Movies Obey
- 6 Crazy Upcoming Movies You've Never Heard Of
- 7 Times Movies And Shows Hid Real Murders Behind The Scenes
- 6 Disturbing Messages You Never Noticed In Marvel Movies
- 6 Reasons Why It's Impossible To Make Good Video Game Movies
- Special Effects You Didn't Know Weren't CGI
- 6 Reasons Heath Ledger's Joker Ruined Comic Book Movies
- 7 Movies With Horrible Mass Deaths You Never Noticed
- 6 Stupid Characters That Hollywood Now Puts In Every Movie
- 6 Ridiculous Things Implied By Plot Twists In Famous Movies
- 7 Artists Who Secretly Made Your Favorite Movies
- 5 Characters Who Totally Missed the Moral of Their Own Movie
- 6 Movie Plot Holes You Never Noticed Thanks to Editing
- 6 Myths About Famous Places You Believe (Thanks to Movies)
POLITICAL / SOCIAL COMMENTARY
- The Reason Harvey Weinstein Is Just The Beginning
- Dear 'Free Speech' Activists, You're Not Helping
- 5 Ways The Modern World Makes Mass Murder Easier
- 6 Golden Rules For Arguing With Jerks Online
- 5 Surprisingly Solvable Problems America Can't Figure Out
- Memes You Probably Helped Spread Are Secretly Propaganda
- An Insanely Depressing Day In The Life Of Donald Trump
- 6 Honest Assessments About The Chance Of World War 3
- 5 Reasons Fake News Killed Facts In 2016
- 6 News Stories Everybody Needs To Stop Sharing On Facebook
SCIENCE / HISTORY / TECHNOLOGY
- What Would The World Be Like If The Internet Never Existed?
- 6 Ways Fourth Of July Used To Make 'The Purge' Look Tame
- 4 Crappy Side Effects Of Streaming TV Nobody Saw Coming
- 4 Deceptive Ways The Apocalypse Is Going To Sneak Up On Us
- 5 Reasons You Shouldn't Buy a Fancy New TV Anytime Soon
GENERAL POP CULTURE WEIRDNESS